Resources

“Not Good Enough Girl” by Sondra R. Brooks

Not Good Enough Girl | Book by Sondra R. Brooks | Official Publisher Page | Simon & Schuster

Not Good Enough Girl a book by Sondra R. Brooks – Bookshop.org US

www.SondraRBrooks.com

I recently re-read this incredible memoir with a promise to myself to slow down and savour it, but I raced through it in three sittings, riveted, just like the first time. I felt as if I were sitting across from Sondra herself, at times smiling ruefully with her, as when she recounts a peptalk she gave herself while breaking five years of sobriety: “It’ll be different this time, you’ll see. You got this, girl. Cheers!” and crying with her as she reveals how, as a child, she was sexually, physically and emotionally abused by so many adults, and when she wasn’t being exploited by them, she was ignored.

Sondra was a gifted child, a talented dancer whose enthusiasm leaps off the page; it is a marvel to see the exuberance of the child still so present in the adult writer. How did this beautiful spirit remain intact after experiencing so much cruelty? Add to the chaos the fact that her family was outwardly very successful, seemingly perfect. I can relate, yet still I wondered, how did Sondra not break apart with the contradictions?

Indeed, for a long time, Sondra was plagued by low self-esteem and problems that stemmed from it: dysfunctional relationships with men, addiction, and the continued orbiting around her mother’s narcissistic demands. I was grateful for how much of the book describes the later struggles and then healing that Sondra went through. Now a success on her own terms–lover of animals, nature, sobriety, and a very good man–Sondra is a writer of undeniable power, and this book is a gift of hope.

“The Village That Betrayed Its Children” by Karen Lee.  

https://www.karenelee-author.com/index.html 

https://www.amazon.ca/Village-That-Betrayed-Its-Children/dp/1990496717 

This book is a thorough investigation into a whole community that, during the late 1950s and early ‘60s, allowed its children to be sexually abused by the village school teacher. Even after disclosure, girls were sent to the suffocating circumstances of the school house, ever at the mercy of their teacher’s hands and gaze, never knowing what indignities awaited in the classroom, but absolutely knowing there was no one at home or on the school board or in the church or anywhere, who was willing to put a stop to it. Karen Lee lays out problems unique to her own family that left her in harm’s way, and problems endemic to the community–poverty, the harsh treatment of animals and children, reticence to “meddle” or disturb the status quo–that let the abuse go on for over ten years. It takes a village to destroy a childhood, and while Karen Lee unearths with precision the forces at work in her village at a certain time in history, the dynamic she writes about applies today: in schools, families and communities, the powerful are often protected while the vulnerable are abused, ignored and denied help. There are always reasons, but there is no excuse. A heart-wrenching, eye-opening and relevant book. 

“All We Knew But Couldn’t Say” by Jo Vannicola 

https://joannevannicola.com/memoir-writing 

https://www.amazon.ca/All-Knew-But-Couldnt-Say/dp/1459744225 

Jo Vannicola has written a vivid, honest, and heart-breaking account of their experience of physical and sexual violence by their father and mother, and later, of abuses of power perpetrated within the entertainment industry. An eminently successful actor, Jo has now brought their gift of portrayal to the page, showing complicated, believable people behaving in deplorable ways, sometimes ignoring the plight of those around them, and sometimes actively crushing innocents. My understanding of my own mother came into greater focus as I followed Jo’s unflinching depiction of mother-as-pedophile. The mother who cannibalizes children for pleasure has rarely been explored like this in books, or even spoken of, and Jo has had to fight for their truth in a world which often only acknowledges male violence. How did Jo Vannicola survive the betrayals and silencing? Through wit and wits, courage and wisdom, integrity and activism, Jo not only survived, but created a life of inspiration and influence. The story would be almost too painful to read if you didn’t know that the clear, strong voice on the page is that of the one who suffered… and went on to become a voice for the LBGTQ community, for CSA survivors and anyone who has experienced cruelty. Jo Vannicola’s lucid and compassionate book is the very light at the end of the tunnel it describes. 

“Wild Boy of Waubamik” by Thom Ernst 

https://www.dundurn.com/books_/t22117/a9781459750876-the-wild-boy-of-waubamik 

https://www.facebook.com/reelthomernst/ 

Thom Ernst is a brilliant storyteller, and every chapter of this unforgettable memoir has its own rhythm, pace and authority. Scenes leap off the page with the exuberance and innocence of youth, yet the undercurrent of seething darkness–the diabolical urges of Thom’s adoptive father–is never far, tugging at the life that would be free. The isolation and cruelty Thom experiences are extreme, and further injuries occur as he tries to get help. His world becomes a house of mirrors in which every effort to be heard, to be seen, to be healed, only folds the pain and shame back onto him as he is blamed or ignored. This book is a masterful shedding of the rules of self-negation that Thom was forced to absorb and live by. A finely honed clarity and sanity lights up every page, evidently sharpened against a millstone of pain, and in the end, he finds his own way, to a life that is truly his own. When he is faced with an opportunity to forgive his father, I cried because he chooses something far more transcendent–his own wild boy self.